2 nights ago, I woke up at 2am with just enough oxygen to reach over and pick up my inhaler. I was then able to prepare the nebulizer and was breathing normally. I can’t imagine how badly things would have gone if I didn’t have these supplies with me.
As I am reading, (to stay informed as we all should be doing) I’ve learned much, including that hospitals are low on supplies — all types of supplies. Of course, I began imagining the worst such as me needing to go to the hospital, them being out of supplies, them using more intrusive ways to get me breathing, or them not able to help me start breathing again due to circumstances.
Yea, these thoughts suck — but these are thoughts that could become a reality. These are thoughts that are highly possible. And these are thoughts that cause fear. Which is okay.
Fear is a horrible thing when someone dwells on it. Fear is a waste when people convert it into foolishness and selfishness. Fear causes walls to be built, life to be put on pause, depression, ignorance, anger, and many other negative ways of living. But fear can also be a positive power. Use fear to feel alive — not to hide and die inside.
As things are not under control regarding the coronavirus, I will allow fear with wisdom and selflessness. I will self-isolate but not hoard. And I will focus on truth, not dwell in fear.
I will use fear to find reasons to smile right here and right now. I will use fear to be grateful for the life that I have lived. I will use fear to be a friend to others that are afraid. I will use fear to remember that these materials don’t matter — hugging my daughter and my nieces and reminding them what they mean to me is what matters. And I will use fear to plan for a hopeful and loving future to make sure that when I do die, I will be happy with the life I have lived.
As I’ve said many times before — the enemy doesn’t care about our circumstances, he cares about attacking our souls, he just uses our circumstances to reach our souls. Feel the fear, focus on God’s truth (read His word, pray, connect, and grow), and breath easy. You’ve got a beautiful future ahead.